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Here are some of the jokes you jokesters have sent to us . . . . . . .

 

Another anonymous joke.  Must have been sent by a lawyer . . .

Q. A lawyer falls into shark-infested waters, but isn't attacked. Why?

A. Professional Courtesy.

 

Thanks to George from Toronto for this one ---

If you have a dozen lawyers buried up to their necks in sand ---
what more do you need?       MORE SAND

This one was submitted annonymously. Thanks, Anon.  It's a good one:

Question: What is the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer!

A man from Pennsylvania said this:

"Question:  What do you have if you have a thousand lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?

Answer:  A good start!"

Thanks to Jerry & Peggy for this one:

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

You cut the rope!

Hey, another one from California!

During a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness. an elderly, grandmotherly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked: "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

"She responded: "Why, yes, I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the
room toward the defense attorney and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know that man?"

She again replied: "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

This first one comes from Santa Rosa, California!  Thanks, Y.E.

 

A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are

forced to stop at a farmers house. The farmer says that there are only 2

extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu

says,"I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn", so he goes out to the barn. In

a few minutes the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he

says, 'there's a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a

cow." So the rabbi says, I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn". A few

minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the rabbi. He

says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and

there is a pig in the barn. So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn.

A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and

cow....

 Now, how about the rest of you?  Send in those lawyer jokes.

 

 

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